1. This piece, which my younger sister sent me, and has significantly improved my outlook on how my children might turn out fine, after all.
I could eat a can a day. Lucky for my waistline, baby’s cholesterol, and all that is good and decent, they are kind of hard to find here, and it’s kind of ridiculous to shell out $3 for a can of chips. But still. I long for them…
3. This guy.
Some recent gems have tumbled from his lips in his raspy little toddler voice, and I almost die some days over the things that rattle around in his brain…
Imma get bigger, and bigger, and bigger, and then I’ll be a priest?
Mommy, lay on that pillow. (Points to pillow on living room floor, strewn with shredded kleenex) lay down and rest NOW.
Girls don’t have a penis. Just a butt.
Oh! I have a little nipple right there.
Jesus makes me happy, Mommy’
Mommy, look there, you have a flower on your butt, Mommy? (Thinking about getting a tattoo, you hot, young, 18-year-old thing? Think again. Think long and hard. Actions have consequences, and God might send you a two year old boy some day to fill your days with verbal chastisements just to drive home that point. And no, it’s not really on my butt. Thanks, son.)
4. My new smartphone.
My sweet husband snuck back into the house on Monday morning and surprised me with a genuine, made in this past year and compatible with modern technology smartphone so I can rejoin the 21st century. He even scribbled me a love note and left it near the box. Look out facebook, imma like all the things and share all the posts.
5. One week from today, I’ll be happily loading toddlers onto a 747 at Fiumicino for a 12 hour flight via Heathrow to Denver…and I’m not even scared.
Not a single ounce of hesitation or worry over their in-flight behavior, no cares about airport security or baggage issues, and no qualms about feeding them any amount of sugar and carbs to keep them happy and content. And then the 6 subsequent flights in the following weeks … I don’t even care! Bring on the screaming and the transatlantic meltdowns and the time change horrors! Hell, I would be eagerly anticipating a steamship crossing at this point. Bring on the scurvy, we’re headed home on vacation!
Hallie, as always, thanks for letting my mid-week randoms have a happy place to reside on the internet.