Since he has the funniest verbal faux pas and substitutions around, I thought I’d subject you all to a rousing round of ‘sh#t my kid says.’
Sure to be a feature only a mother could love.
Without further ado:
“Chalkit” = chocolate “chalkit” = coconut milk “chalkit” = reward me if I pretend to use the potty “pooooop” = use the potty “mommy poop?” = use the potty “i pee” = use the potty “mommy pee” = use the potty “mommy bunzer” = mommy is currently using the potty “booty juice” = prune juice (my little geriatric patient has a tricky stomach) “booty juice” = gatorade (watered down, before you notify the CPS) “almonds” = almonds “eggies” = eggs (at least 2 scrambled easy per morning, much to his cholesterol-concerned pediatricians chagrin “john pawl” = john paul “jaypeeee” = john paul “a drink, mommy” = serve me libations “nack, mommy”= feed me “oh wine, mommy?” = pellegrino in my sippy cup, please “nice wine, mommy!” = any bottle I pull from the fridge or cupboard. Can’t really fault him… “nice hair, mommy!” = don’t put me to bed “chip-ahs” = tortilla chips, nasty gluten free crackers, and more recently, crunchy fallen leaves. Eww. “grey-pah” = grapes. We have thousands of grapes growing in our yard and garden. It sounds MUCH more glamorous than it is. He eats them straight off the vine, never mind they’re withered and rotting from the recent frost. “bunzer!” = take all my clothes off “bunzer!” = bath time “bunzer!” = I am streaking in front of the open living room window “8,7,9” = I don’t know. Rainman? “8,7, Romney” = clear as a bell. Good little Republican “coffee beans, JP’s mouth?” = traumatic flashback to a certain incident in Anthropologie which haunts us all… “coffee” = Starbucks “coffee” = coffee “beer” = beer “Jesah” = Jesus “Jesah house” = church, varying denominations “Wine please?” = Eucharistic prayers
Clearly, we are doing something so right.
P.S. hearty congrats to Ana on sweet baby Lucy, who I’ve not seen pics of but who is no doubt adorable.Yes, yes she is. Thanks for making me want to have another baby someday, Ana.