7 Quick Ones

 Oh heeeeeeey Jen, thanks for having us.

1. October surpriseeeeee: it snowed last night. And I must say, the frosted Obama signs adorning our neighborhood laws are sparkling under a magical dusting of white.

2. In other surprising news of the October varietal, the national unemployment rate dipped below 8% for the first time in 4 years, conveniently timed to incite warm feelings for President Xanax just in time for November 6th. If anyone is impressed by his mathematical abilities of manipulation, let me assure you it is me. According to his reckoning, I have arrived at my pre-baby weight as of this week!

(Not included in this figure: number of lbs. that gave up looking for somewhere to drop off of my body and politely asked to not be included in the official number. Let’s call them ‘part time working’ pounds.)

3. White pumpkins. Freaky? Or fantastic decor details for a tall tablescape? Anna of IHOD pinned some cutie ones this a.m. that got my heart a fluttering for a trip to Hobby Lobby. Which my boys absolutely LOVE, by the way. Nothing screams fun to a baby boy like aisles and aisles of glittery, bedazzled fall vegetables and plastic Christmas trees. Also, they pipe in the same awesome Sirius station as ChickFilA, providing the soothing backdrop of Christian contemporary rock made all the more awful via instramentalization.

4. Grace is so funny. Her kids are so mental. (I think they’re related to mine) Can I get an amen? Can we please scrape together a pile of Hamiltons so she can abandon her mundane daily drudgeries of Costco-going and baby wipe scrubbing for the greater good of multiple postings per day?

Seriously Grace, if we paid for someone to come over and toss hot dogs into Julia’s gaping maw and wipe Sebastian down at regular intervals, would you prettyprettypleeeeease post multiple times per day? It would be just like a part time job, except with terrible benefits. And also, it might bring the unemployment number down in the 6% range.

5. St. Francis came to a parish near us yesterday and brought some friendly woodland creatures from the Denver zoo for the 100+ squirming toddlers in attendance to politely ogle. After the good friar exited stage left, his friendly assistants Ali the nose-pierced hipster and Sara the earnest environmentalist showed us a good time by pulling really fabulous creatures out of the Igloo coolers they’d toted over in the zoo van. Like a boa constrictor. And a blue-tongued skink. Oh yes, and a couple of birds from Australia with names from Rod Stewart songs. Which crapped on the floor of the parish hall. (That last detail was a huge highlight, at least for the boys sitting up front)

6. Hey that turtle’s name is Kevin! We made it to the next sea and now there are ….

7!  (And if you understood that last one, I feel for ya, I really do. We’re on a pirate adventure…)


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