Tonight, according to a headline on Rocky Mountain News dot com, the stars will align in the rare, mile-high sky and Obama the messiah will ascend to his throne of glory on the 50 yard line at Invesco Field. This moment, it would seem, is what Denverites and Democrats alike have been dreaming of for weeks, months even - hell, ever since they decided to throw Hilary to the dogs and Barack the vote. As such, this fair city on a hill (well, a high plain, anyway) hasn't seen quite this level of excitement since Crocs were originally released in 2002. Trust me, it's that big of a deal 'round these parts. We're talking a new Michael Moore mocumentary big. PETA protesting the latest addition to McDonald's extra value menu big. George Bush (gasp) swallowing a pretzel and making an inarticulate comment after the fact big. You get the picture, we're a cynical lot, we denizens of Denver.
But there are a few of us who have stepped beyond the boundaries of crazy to step out into flat out loony land, and those few, those proud, those extremes... they're going all out to out do each other in nut job. Case in point: the auspicious organization Pot heads for change, who are hoola-hooping their way downtown to the stadium tonight, joints hanging from their lips and hoops spinning round their hips in an attempt to send the message that, well, sh*t, we're all stuck in the late 60's here in the square state. But who can blame us at this altitude?
I would also like to highlight the strangely reverent hush that has fallen upon this fair metropolis of typically antagonistic atheists who worship the environment (and sometimes good micro brews but certainly no deity). Almost all the coverage I've read this week included something along the lines of "and Barack entered the room, the clouds parted, and the sun broke through, illuminating the darkness that has gripped my soul since January 2000." Or something along those lines. Seriously, this is an actual excerpt from one such (un)biased blurb:
"I have not forgotten where I came from," Obama said. "I haven't forgotten who got me here. It's because of all of you." As he spoke, one woman yelled out: "I love you!"
Delores Register, of Oak Park, Ill., called it "very emotional" and "very meaningful."
And then I put down my newspaper and vomited. Don't worry, it was post-consumer recycled waste.