Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Panty Rant

Boys are Recyclable

Hello, My Name is: Hot

R: Restricted. No one under 17 admitted unless accompanied by parent or guardian

Boyfriends are like panties - they should be changed daily

Pull Out (arrow pointing downward)

Nice pick up lines, right? Nicer still when plastered across the crotch of scandalous underwear marketed to 13 year old girls at a bargain clothing outlet...

My younger sister (and shopping companion) can attest to the nearly-apoplectic rage that overtook my person as I contemplated this rack of unmentionables in the corner of our favorite discount store. I mean, let's be honest, the graffiti on the bathroom walls in most public restrooms isn't as filthy as some of the whimsical screen prints I beheld in the juniors department... But yes, let's put these catchy phrases somewhere they're sure to grab someones attention.

Women are being sold the most hideous lies about their bodies. The mantra of choice and personal freedom preaches a gospel of self-respect while simultaneously encouraging exploitative sexual behavior and dress. It's totally schizophrenic! The following could be (but isn't) an excerpt from any month's edition of Cosmo:

"You are your body, and you may do as you like with it, but you should respect your body, and men should respect that you respect your body and respect you for respecting yourself. You in turn ought to respect the men who respect your right to respect yourself, because real respect is about taking control. Here, put this g-string on. Pull your shirt down. Go ahead, it's fine, it's your right to be objectified by your classmates and co-workers. He doesn't like it? He must be gay."

I could go on, but I think you get the point. This is a perversion and a distortion of the goodness of human sexuality, a rejection of the dignity of the human person, and a diabolically successful marketing campaign from the pit of hell. Did I mention all of the above-listed styles are available for ages 12 and up? Well hell yes, get them started early and often, they'll be lifelong customers at this rate...


  1. I can attest to the rage...and I only got the aftermath of it when they came back from shopping...

    Just anger is a good thing. We are SUPPOSED to be angered by evil...it's a flaw in our formation if we are not.

  2. Well said. I'll be right behind you if you want to raid the local walmart and drive out the targeted 12-year-old panty-consumers with a chord of whips.

  3. Yuck! My daughter is only four and I'm already searching to find a non-two piece bathing suit to fit her each summer. What is with this gross culture that we live in?


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