Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Hardest to Get

Some friendships are forged from mutual attraction, some from familiarity which breeds not contempt but contentment, and some simply are, as if preternaturally ordained and intended. Like the first time you hear a new song on the radio, the initial reaction can be quite telling of the end result. (ooh, I'm going to like this... ) The end is already in mind then, at the outset of the friendship, though one or both parties may remain unaware for some time.

This can be both frustrating and fabulous, to be so taken by someone, so delighted with this new gift you've been given, that there is a temptation to tear all the wrapping off right away and get to the good stuff, so to speak.

There's something to say for delayed gratification though, a claim that any child on Christmas Eve can substantiate. There's a wonder in the waiting that adds infinite value to the gift, both in the mind of the giver and the receiver. When the gift is human love, how much more true this is!

My fondest memories of my relationships with my best friends often take me back to the earliest days of our acquaintance, when we were still testing the waters and discovering mutual interests and ideals. Every new experience we shared together was punctuated by delight and and often surprise as we realized our similarity and compatibility. Wow, he/she really gets me...it's almost scary!

The process of self-disclosure and revelation is best taken slowly and intentionally, like a well-charted road trip which will still be rife with wonderful surprises and unexpected delays, but is surely headed down a preordained course with a goal in mind. It might be tempting to floor it while driving through flyover country on I-70 (no offense to any Midwesterners out there), but arriving safely in one piece without speeding tickets is the best foundation one can lay for a truly enjoyable vacation in the Rockies. And there's beauty along the drive, too. Not the specific beauty you are ultimately seeking, but present nonetheless, and what a shame to speed past all those cornfields and never appreciate a single sunset or picturesque pastoral scene...

The point is this, in life and in love, what's worth having is worth waiting for, worth working at, and utterly worthy of respect. If our friendships truly originate in the mind of God, (and isn't it so obvious that the best ones do?) then who are we to question Him on the details? Or the timing, for that matter. Deference to His timing will only bless us in the end, as does faithful adherence to the speed limit... or at least within 5 miles, anyway. I love the following quote from Anne of Green Gables, and though my use of it will disqualify any subsequent jabs at a certain person's, ahem, literary affectations, it's too perfect not to reference-

"Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one's life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; perhaps it crept to one's side like an old friend through quiet ways; perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart it's pages betrayed the rhythm and the music; perhaps... perhaps... love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath."


  1. thanks for this post jenny...i did think of my best friend who entered the convent last august...shed some tears when i read -who are we to question Him on the details-- i never imagined my best friend would enter the convent and it has been more difficult than i would have expected, i love her so much and miss her, and i have to remind myself that our friendship is a gift and what a gift it is when Jesus gifts us with the friendship of his brides.


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